Helping Students Grow Through Failure

A critical component of a growth mindset is the understanding that mistakes and failure are part of the learning process and are not a reflection of one’s intelligence or talents. Failing properly is hard work for children (and adults too!) and is not for the faint-hearted. Proper failure requires strong effort, motivation, evaluation, and self-reflection. Put simply it takes grit and determination to fail properly. Like breathing, failure is inevitable; the challenge for us as parents and teachers is to teach our children how to do it right. We know we have failed properly if we learn in the process.

Learning how to fail is a critical part of every child’s education. When children are not afraid to try and fail, they develop resiliency and self-confidence. They learn that it takes time and practice to become good at something. Most children want to succeed and want to do well, but they don’t always realize that failing is a major component of success.This is where teachers and parents can be instrumental in helping children to understand that many times failing comes before success. Teaching children how to accept, utilize and evaluate failure on a daily basis is critical to every child’s education. Magic happens when parents and teachers partner to help a child learn this valuable lesson both at home and at school. When a child is not afraid to fail, the doors to possibilities open, and many things that had previously seemed unreachable become attainable. Dr. Jamie Howard, director of Child Mind Institute, observes, “There is so much pressure on kids today to be the best that it’s important parents let their children know that failing will happen sometimes and that it is totally okay. In fact, it’s brave to try something new, knowing that it might not work out.” The entire article, titled Teaching Children It’s OK to Fail (http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2015/11/teaching-children-its-ok-to-fail/ offers helpful suggestions on how to teach a child that failure is a part of learning. Dr. Howard’s suggestions to help children learn resilience include:

• Empathizing with your children when they struggle.

• Explaining that everyone fails and share times when you have struggled and failed.

• Teaching resiliency by talking over the failure with your child.

• Encouraging your child to try again ...practice, practice, practice!

Here are some helpful resources for teaching children how to fail and how to develop resiliency and self-confidence. I hope you find them useful.

Carol Dweck on the Growth Mindset, Embracing Failure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6Y5j5sMs8w

Embracing Kids’ Failures -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6Y5j5sMs8w

The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. August 11, 2015. Jessica Lahey

The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee. Wendy Mogel, PhD.